For Good

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be that we will never meet again
In this lifetime so let me say before we part
So much of me is made from what I learned from you
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

Like a comet pulled from orbit / Like a ship blown from its mooring

As it passes a sun / By a wind off the sea

Like a stream that meets a boulder / Like a seed dropped by a skybird
Halfway through the wood / In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

-"For Good" from Wicked

On Being Selfish

I really love to travel. I do. I've been all over the world. But I kind of have a newfound appreciation for it this year. At the risk of potentially sounding a bit whiny or ungrateful or burdened (and I'm not any of those things), in the past, I've always traveled for other people. I'd fly to Illinois to see my family. I went to France to see a roommate. I went to Australia to see a then-boyfriend. I'd drive to LA to see friends. Not that I don't want to see those people - I LOVE seeing my family and friends! But traveling solo with no one waiting for you on either end has really really huge perks.

Earlier this season, the first time I went up to San Jose for a Hawks/Sharks game, it was really kind of cool to realize "Wow, it's really late, I don't want to drive three hours now and I don't have to work tomorrow. I can stay here for the night and it will affect exactly no one!" It was even better when I was down in LA for other games over the past few months; I stayed at the Queen Mary, went on the ghost tours, because I wanted to. I stayed at the JW Marriott downtown & got treated like a princess. I didn't have to convince anyone to go with me or spend their money on something I wanted to do. I had the money; I had the time; I had the desire. I could just go.

I'm doing the same thing again this summer. In a couple weeks, I'm going to Vegas for three days. By myself. For no reason other than there are two shows I want to see (Penn & Teller's show at the Rio - I really hope they do the Magic Bullet! - and the annual NHL Awards Show at the Palms, because I've never seen a live awards show for anything and I love the NHL, although it will not be a nice feeling if I have to see Vancouver players with the Cup =P). Then next month, I'm going to Chicago. Not to see family (although I do have a few days planned with them - like I said, I do actually enjoy their company occasionally), but to do something I want to do, like go to the Blackhawks Convention and a Cubs game.

I'm 30 years old and I want a weekend in the city without restrictions. There are things that just are more fun with a group, but then you always have to plan things and work out schedules and transportation and be dependent on whoever you're seeing, at least to a certain extent. But what happens when you don't have a group handy? Your friends either aren't interested in what you want to do or don't have the money handy or have to work or something? Do you put your plans aside and wait for the perfect combination to occur? I, personally, say no. Life is way too short to wait for convenience. Just go. So I'm going.

And I can't wait!

Never Forget

I am an American Airman.
I am a warrior.
I have answered my nation's call.

I am an American Airman.
My mission is to fly, fight, and win.
I am faithful to a proud heritage,
A tradition of honor,
And a legacy of valor.

I am an American Airman.
Guardian of freedom and justice.
My nation's sword and shield,
Its sentry and avenger.
I defend my country with my life.

I am an American Airman.
Wingman.
Leader.
Warrior.
I will never leave an Airman behind.
I will never falter,
AND I WILL NOT FAIL!

This Week in Life...

-Tried jiu jitsu for the first time this past week. I'm ambivalent about it right now, although I can't participate in the sparring yet due to my ankle. The class is huge, though, and is made up of a lot of my guys from FIGHT. It's also always interesting to see Sir as a student.

-Took and passed my CDCs this week. Basically, this means I went up a level at work. It's not nearly as big of a deal as it sounds, although it is important. It's good that they aren't hanging over my head anymore.

-Was a DV escort and runner for the DO's promotion ceremony this weekend, and then was invited to a more intimate party after drill with his family, the 216th brass, and the people who helped out with the ceremony. It was fun, and a good reminder that I am lucky enough to be working with some really good people. Even if I did take some ribbing from some of them about my hockey fandom. Also got some encouraging tidbits on the job I applied for, so that was nice.

-Really not thrilled with the start of the Western Conference Finals. I don't like the Sharks, but I seriously loathe the Canucks. However, all hockey hatred aside, the NHL lost a fan favorite this week with the sudden death of NY Ranger/former Minnesota Wild player Derek Boogaard. Thoughts go to his family and friends. RIP Boogeyman.

-Had a lot of fun for my birthday this year. Probably the best birthday I've had in a long time. Still had to work, of course, but we had a cake on my actual birthday and also got to talk to my mom, got a beautiful present from my parents, and stayed up late talking to my brother, so that made it a good day all around. We went out to lunch at our favorite tri-tip spot on Friday, because meetings and schedules didn't work out until then, and a guy that I think might be flirting with me a little got "dragged" to it, as well, so that was fun.

-Worked all weekend, gonna work all week. I need to go dress-shopping for Vegas at some point next weekend...hmm....

My Next Thirty Years

I think I'll take a moment to celebrate my age,
The ending of an era, and the turning of a page.
Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here.
Lord, have mercy on my next thirty years!

In my next thirty years, I'm gonna have some fun,
Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done.
Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years!

My next thirty years, I'm gonna settle all the scores,
Cry a little less, and laugh a little more.
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fears,
Figure out just what I'm doing here in my next thirty years.

In my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight,
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late.
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers -
Hey maybe I'll remember my next thirty years!

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life!
I'll raise a little family and hang out with my wife.
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear,
Make up for lost time here in my next thirty years!

-My Next Thirty Years, Tim McGraw

Um, wow!

How did it get to be May already?? Yikes! I keep thinking "I'll post something when I actually have something done/going on" and then I never seem to have time!

For the knitterly types, I did finish the test knit, nicknamed The Beast due to its size and color, but properly called a Hip To Be Square Cape, and loved the result....pre-felting. It was a cape, a lovely warm drapey soft cape with a cute little collar. Then the washer ate it. Stupid cheap laundry-room washers! I'd been afraid of that result, so I'd tried to hand-felt it in the bathtub first, but it was way too big to do that.
Pre-felting:
Post-felting:
All that lovely soft Malabrigo! So stiff and short now! My heart cries! But the color is pretty...sigh. Anyway, since I'm in no danger of jinxing anything now (yes, I'm being a sore loser, but no one will ever be able to convince me that the Canucks were the better team in ANY sense in that series), I've also started a Blackhawks-themed Short-Row Striped Pullover, which I think will rock. I'm using black for the sleeves, hem and collar, and then the stripe pattern is predominantly black, red and white, with green and yellow highlights. I have one sleeve done so far - I almost always do the sleeves first on sweaters - and hoping to start the second one today! I've also started an Adamas Shawl in the Claudia's Handpainted Silk I got a couple years ago. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it, and have now remembered why I rarely do lace projects (they aren't hard, but are not good knitting for watching hockey, to say the least). It is starting off rather well, though. No good pics yet. During the first round, I also started a super simple *yo, k2tog* scarf out of the leftover Mal, which is turning out quite charming and I can imagine will be insanely warm.

In work news, things are going really well. I've kind of settled into the job, but of course, once I did, another job opened up at the 216th that I was STRONGLY encouraged to apply for. I hemmed and hawed about it until pretty much the last minute, but I did apply for it. Better pay, more in line with the actual mission of the 216th, and I might be good at it. We'll see. Other than that, love the job, love the people I work with (the girls all ganged up for dinner and a show this week, which was fun), and if it didn't start so early in the day, it would be almost perfect. One decision that I have never regretted. Ran into a bunch of old friends at the theater, and they all mentioned that I look happier, steadier, and more confident than I ever did before. I definitely feel it!

Also helping that - finally being back in martial arts! I don't think I mentioned that I tore my ankle up (again, same ankle) in March. I was running a trail on one of the COD commander's "death marches" (his usually around 5-mile, often very hilly, insanely-early-on-Thursday-morning, not-required-but-highly-encouraged runs) and just rolled it. It didn't seem that bad at the time, but when it was still "not right" after the weekend, I got it looked at. Doc said it was a combination of new mild sprain plus the severe sprain from last summer never actually healing properly (wonder how that happened), and he forbade pretty much any exercise that involves legs at all until the beginning of April, when I could see a physical therapist. She took a look a it and decided that it seemed like the tendons and ligaments had healed properly, but the muscles hadn't. So I've been in physical therapy for about six weeks now, mostly working with one of the assistants on strength, balance, and flexibility, and STILL haven't been completely cleared to run. I can do up to 15 minutes (on a good day), mixing running and walking, and no more than 1.5 miles on flat surfaces.

I DID, however, get cleared to go back to class, as long as I don't jump or spin on it. The not jumping is easy - I've never been much of a jumper - but the spinning is harder to remember, particularly in forms and sparring. It's SO good to be back in classes, though! I might make second degree yet! I've been to tkd and kickboxing so far, and am hoping to make it to FIGHT on Tuesday this week if the ankle holds up. It's been pretty good, although I am definitely out of shape and have lots of soreness, although I wasn't thinking at one point Wednesday and threw a spin hook kick during sparring, which wasn't appreciated.

I don't get to see Sir very much - Mrs. S teaches on M/W now, and he teaches on T/Th, which are PT days - but I ran into him the other day and he really wants me to check out the new jiu jitsu class on Thursday nights. Definitely not going to participate in anything new until the ankle is completely okay, but I promised I would come watch a few classes. I would like to be able to do both PT and classes on the same day, and I think I am not far off, although it helps that I can't DO a lot of the PT right now, since it mostly involves running. I do SERIOUSLY need to work on pushups, though. They just hurt - my ankle, my elbows, ugh! And I need to get back into running if I'm going to do this half in September! We'll see. I'll just keep working as best as the docs & the body will let me and hope I don't re-injure anything!

Hmm, what else? Going to Vegas in June as a birthday present to myself. I'm leaning toward totally indulging and getting a package that includes a ticket to the NHL Awards. (In which case, working out more is going to be a very good thing, cuz I'm vain enough to want to look amazing in Vegas just in case ;-) ) Also going to the Blackhawks Convention in Chicago in July and going to hang out with family & catch another Cubs game with my brother & cousins during that trip. Yay!

Think that's about it. It's Mother's Day, so I should probably get my sunburnt self (reading out in the sun yesterday - I swear I was only out there for maybe half an hour!) off the computer and call Mom...

Song Bomb & Other Dreams

I could have danced all night!
I could have danced all night!
And still have begged for more!
I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things
I've never done before!
I didn't know what made it so exciting,
When all at once my heart took flight!
I only know when he began to dance with me
I could have danced danced danced all night!
-"I Could Have Danced All Night ", My Fair Lady

Thanks to Jinny for getting the song totally stuck in my head. And then my brother saying he had been watching it earlier too.

Been having a LOT of dreams lately. Not sure if it's the weather or just being on an almost-regular sleep schedule (they say sleeping better makes you dream more) or just being in a really good mood recently or what. I dreamed that Skille would get traded two days before it happened. Dreamed of a thunderstorm, then one hit this weekend. Last couple dreams have been about training for the run with some stuffed/cartoony animals (not as creepy as it sounds, was kind of funny), talking to Jonathan Toews before a press conference or game (he gave me a hug, kept his arm around me, asked me about work and told me he was mixing a new song for the pregame videos - because the players do that /sarcasm - and that everything would be alright), being a contestant on SyFy's "Face/Off" makeup competition and being totally overwhelmed because I knew nothing about makeup and am not creative (those three dreams were all in one night!) and then last night's was trying to convince/protect my tech school roommate from getting involved with a really bad crowd and then having to leave her to protect myself when she did anyway. Very busy subconscious, I guess! Nothing bad or scary, mostly encouraging or self-aware, actually, so that's cool, but always interesting.

I've started the test knit for the Ravelry designer. It's going to be a felted cape, actually! I'm super-excited, but this thing is going to be huge pre-felting. And okay, Malabrigo totally lives up to the hype. This yarn is INsanely soft and so pretty! I love it! It borders on being almost TOO soft, though - this stuff will almost felt if you just LOOK at it too roughly. Which is great for spit-splicing, I love not having many ends to weave in! The pattern itself is a touch fiddly - there are a couple different techniques - but not difficult. It will take some time, though, just because of its size. I also finished the dishcloth blankie for our newest little guy AND got to cuddle him in it when he visited us at work the other day! He's so cute!

Now taking advantage of a three day weekend to get caught up on some housework and some homework. Really struggling with this class, even though it's actually a bit more interesting than the others. Well, I shouldn't say that. I should say the assignment structures are more interesting, the material itself is still quite boring. But instead of one or two massive papers and exams, we have LOTS of small(ish) assignments each week. When you already start out three weeks behind b/c of transferred classes and textbook mishaps, it's really very frustrating trying to get caught up and then stay caught up. And with online classes, it's SO easy to procrastinate! Hate that. Hate that I let myself do that! Definitely going to be working on that.

I'm also training a Canadian captain at work right now, and Kings 5K run is in less than two weeks! And then I start the training program for the Disneyland Half! Oye! Busy!