Stanley Cup Warm-Ups

Killing time before going out to catch the game somewhere alcoholic (and actually getting a chance to watch my Cubs play for once! Remember, I'm the girl who always swore she'd marry a Cub someday. Now I'm conflicted because I kinda want to marry a Blackhawk, too! Can I have both?). Anyway, because “every day is a great day for hockey” (Mario Lemeiux), here’s some classic hockey humor:

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series. ~Steve Rushin

A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can’t hit one another. ~Jimmy Cannon

How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? ~Jacques Plante

Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records. ~Author Unknown (my current favorite!)

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. ~Gordie Howe

And, of course:

I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. ~Rodney Dangerfield

A few other gems I've found: Intent To Blow gives the Blackhawks Pronger-zombie killing tips and View From My Seats tells you who your teams are cheering for and why. (Pretty funny if you know hockey teams and a little history, a little bit of language.)

GO CUBS!!

GO BLACKHAWKS!!!!