Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Good, The Bad, and The Actually Really Pretty

The Good and The Actually Really Pretty:
In knitting news (I do knit, you know, even if I don't talk about it much), I FINALLY got to finish the Card Trick Illusion Scarf!!! The final skein came Thursday and I finished the scarf on Friday. (Yes, I actually was that close when I ran out of the red.) I washed and blocked it Monday, and it was a beautiful thing, spread out on my balcony railing to dry after its celebratory dunking in Eucalan. And, I promptly forgot about it being out there for the rest of the day. I rescued it after I got home from class last night when I saw it laying on the grass under my balcony - luckily, it hadn't blown into the pool! And, of course, this means that I didn't get any pics, so that will have to happen tomorrow. The thing is LONG, though - I think pretty close to eight feet! Still working on the bag (Ten Minute Rule is in effect for this project - I love the project, hate the yarn!) and the ten-stitch blanket. It goes surprisingly fast, and it's kind of nice to use up some of these random little balls of wool I have left. Right now I have a color scheme going, but once these run out, who knows? It's amazing how far one little scrap ball can go when it's only a ten stitch strip, though.

Also good, I've actually been able to wear my gloves in kickboxing class so far this week, although my hands hurt again afterwards. We've started running again in class and I can keep pace with Mrs. S pretty well (I still hate running, though). We also got the new hanging bags last Tuesday. That night's FIGHT class was the official first use of them. (They definitely need to get broken in. Sir says it'll probably take a good year.) For 100lb. bags, they're actually pretty easy to get up and down quickly. Sir and Mr. R hang them during our run in kickboxing, and then Mr. R and I usually take them down after class. Sometimes we use them in FIGHT, too, although we didn't tonight. They do a number on the feet for round kicks, though, although I've noticed recently that my round kicks are getting fairly high now. We still do a drill with partners on pads and Gil (who is taller than me) holds them up by his shoulders for my kicks. And they've still got some power behind them. So maybe I've improved a little in the flexibility range over the past two and a half years (has it really been that long already??). Oh, and starting next week, they're putting a third adult tkd class back into the schedule. Looks like it's back to nine classes a week (two each on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays and three on Wednesdays). They're also splitting up the teen/adult class into 12-15 year olds' class and 16+ class, which I think will be REALLY nice, and they're adding a Spanish-speaking class on Friday nights that J will be helping out with. I've been asked twice to help other first degrees learn their forms and really enjoy that. I think right now I'm more comfortable working with more advanced students (in all my classes) that already know at least the basics, because I don't have to worry about messing them up so much. I'm afraid if I work with a brand new student (kid or adult in any class), I'll say something wrong or do something wrong or not catch something soon enough and really mess them up. Don't know why, but I am, so I'm really happy to help other students closer to my level for now.

Also good:

Spending time with the girls in Solvang over the weekend. We went wine-tasting (rhubarb wine was surprisingly good!) and then caught the show. The sound is much better in Solvang. It always is. It also pays to have friends - we got bumped from having crazy seats along the wall to some of the held seats closer to the center. I could hear Chrissy calling the show (we were almost right under the booth, and it's really much easier to call the show with the window open rather than trying to rely on the spotty monitor system there), but the girls said they couldn't and told me it was just because I actually recognized and was used to what I was hearing. Whatever. It was still fun and good to see everyone again. I keep hearing really good things about Spelling Bee and am gonna try to catch it sometime this weekend, I hope.

Also good:
This is a cat who thinks he's being sneaky and cool and aloof about his new cat carrier. Don't let him fool you - he's totally snoring his head off in there. We've been going for rides in the car lately, since I'm pondering making a road trip home for a family reunion, but he cries and cries. The old crate I had for him was really small - he didn't have room to sit up or stand and was just kind of squished inside it. He could barely turn around in it. I would have cried inside it, too! So we got a bigger one (that has a special place for food and water inside!), and apparently this is much more acceptable, at least at home. We'll go out again tomorrow to see how he does in the car. He usually settles down slightly after about twenty minutes, so we'll see. The road trip itself may or may not happen - by my estimates it would be cheaper to fly (barely), and, honestly, a heck of a lot cheaper to stay home, but we'll see.

The Bad:
I did not get the job at Kohls. I also did not get a job I don't even remember applying for on base, as I was kindly informed by an email today. (Military spouses get preference for on-base jobs, which is a clear indication that I need to find a guy in uniform!) Again, really tired of the "we really need you, but not YOU" thing. Sigh.

I'm pretty sure this is just me and is completely non-intentional, but man, have I been getting nit-picked in classes lately. Now, I'm not saying I'm anywhere near perfect, very very far from, but am I really that bad?? Suddenly, in the past two weeks, my hook punches aren't right, my elbows aren't tucked in, my arms aren't straight enough, my kicks are too close or aren't fast enough, haganah drills aren't done quite right every single time, etc., in ALL my classes. Apparently, I can't do anything correctly right now. AND, just to top everything off and make me feel REALLY stupid, we were doing forms "testing style" in tkd last night and I was trying SO hard to not rush through it and complete each individual move (like I was asked to do after the last midterm) that I totally blanked on what move came next. I couldn't remember what move I had just did, where I was at in the form, or anything. I just knew I wasn't in the right stance and my arms weren't in the right place and I had no idea why. Sir had to prompt me to get me back on track. In front of everyone. SO embarrassing! I tried to keep going calmly through the rest of my form, but I think I started rushing it again. So now I can't even prove that I've listened to my head instructor and worked on anything he wanted me to. I'm such a good example =P I talked to Ma'am about it tonight (she wasn't there last night), and she assured me that everyone's done that at some point and at least it wasn't actually DURING a test, which is true. I ran through it again tonight after FIGHT and am planning on running through both my regular form and my weapons form a couple times both tomorrow and Thursday and maybe even seeing if I can score some free mat time on Friday afternoon. I CAN do this, I know I can. I just have to prove it to myself and everyone else =P I just wish I didn't feel like the only one constantly having to go "Yes Sir/Ma'am!" after getting some criticism or another, however gently or nicely delivered. I'm now kind of nervous about instructor class tomorrow night =/

However, at least my day didn't end like this:

1 comment:

otter said...

Interesting that you talk about "can't do anything right" after talking about being turned down for the jobs you applied for. Your confidence is taking a beating and you may be oversensitive to any critisms right now. Something that at a good time in your life you may have just thought "ok, I can correct that", you're now dwelling on. Sounds like you need to go for a long walk, possibly on the beach? Relax and just chill. Cut yourself some slack. Then you'll be amazed at how well your body and brain will communicate.

Love you,