Thursday, March 19, 2009

Having cake and...

So, it looks like there's about a 98% chance that I'll be moving to LA at the end of this month. The job interviews on Tuesday both went very well, particularly the one in Santa Fe Springs, and I'm expecting to hear back from them early next week. The apartments I saw were kind of a bust - one place insisted on a twelve-month lease, which I can't guarantee, and the other not only was much higher than their ad had said, but was also farther south than I would have preferred. I'm going back down on Monday to check out at least one more apartment which sounds too perfect to actually work out - it's cheaper than what I'm paying here, short-term lease, cat-friendly, and exactly in the area I'd like to live - near SFS if I get that job, but still far enough south that if I get a job in the Anaheim area, it'd be convenient to that, too. (John's words when I told him where it was were "holy $%^@, Katie...if you live there AND get the job in SFS, that'd be SICK! Totally ideal! You'd be RIGHT HERE!") So, it's probably in a bad area or a run down building or for some other reason unacceptable. I'll find out on Monday, I guess.

The hardest thing was telling Sir that I wasn't going to be training full time there anymore. Honestly, the dojahng and the people there are the ONLY reason that I haven't packed up and moved south before this. They're my family here, and I don't want to leave them. (I had posted a whiny rant on Ravelry about it last night, but since deleted it.) I talked to Sir tonight, and asked him to help me try to find a good school down in that area. He agreed to help me...with finding a FIGHT school (or "suitable alternative", he suggested also looking into styles like muay thai). However, due to the...uniqueness...of our dojahng, finding a tkd school was going to be next to impossible, unless I a.) wanted to join an ATA school or b.) wanted to start completely over learning a new style of tkd. Neither option is particularly appealing to either Sir or I (there is a reason we're no longer an ATA school, remember), and since it's not like I can permanently stay out of the area - I do have this little military obligation to fulfill - he made a deal with me. He'll personally continue to oversee my tkd training any time I'm in town - whether for drills or ERAU class or tech school (once I can get offbase, of course) - either through private lessons or me stepping into a class when schedule allows. It's my responsibility to arrange those times with him and to continue working on my forms on my own so that I can demonstrate them when I'm there. I love my instructors! And I almost made it through the whole conversation w/o tearing up, but as I was bowing out the door, Sir added "We'll really miss seeing you here all the time, though." I made it out the door, but had to sit in the car for a couple minutes before I could drive. I still have next week, and it's not really goodbye, but it's still hard. I'm certain that I owe my sanity to that dojahng - it became my refuge when things got too stressful with work or when bad things happened. I'm sure I would have burned out even faster, and maybe not have realized it, without those hours of being forced to let go of whatever show was over my head at the time. I don't want to leave my family completely, and I really am grateful that Sir is going to allow me to keep them as much as possible.

Yes, I could stay here in SM if I REALLY wanted to, living off my student loans and going further into debt while I continue to look for work (and I'd like to point out that I've been job-hunting in this area since mid-October at this point and not had ANYTHING except those two weeks at the bookstore), make it inconvenient for myself to work on my favorite job, and generally being bored out of my mind having nothing to do. Or, I could move south, reduce my rent and gas, continue to take classes and make drill weekends, work on my baby and be able to hang out with my crew, and I've already had two strong interviews with more possibilities on the way. Moving away for just one reason is silly. Staying for just one reason is even sillier.

And now I'm gonna crash, since tonight seemed to have been tweenybopper night at FIGHT (me, Sir, and J - a relatively new guy - were the only "adults" there tonight) and my arm really hurts now. It was cool getting to help demonstrate, though, and knowing the defenses w/o having to think about them (two chokes and a knife tonight).


Kathleen C. said...

I got a little teary as well reading about the dojahng. I sure wish you luck keeping a connection with them. They are clearly good people.

And good luck with the move!
Boy, lots of changes going on in your life right now, and change is unsettling... but you've got so much good happening... it's exciting too!

Kim said...

It's always tough to move on, but you've figured out that that's what is next. I'm glad you can continue your training in some form with Sir.